Tuesday, December 29, 2009

oh my. i'm snowbirding to saint croix.

i just bought tickets to fly to saint croix (US Virgin Islands) overnite monday, arriving Tues. Jan. 19, returning to Seattle Thurs. May 6. i feel so whimpy, which i attribute to a fair and possibly legitimate case of post traumatic stress syndrome—or rather total exhaustion for upholding pre traumatic stress syndrome for an entire year! i'm not sure i can or will really believe i'm doing this until after i'm back, if then. anahow, it's done, as a true Scotsman, once i've purchased a ticket, i'll go through with it i spect. i lived there 24 years, most of my adult life (i keep saying). i have human friends and tree friends there who i've terribly missed. the trick will be to recuperate and not over-extend myself celebrating this reunion of my heart with it's most doted piece of earth. love to all. your support is sending me. not mine. all highest love. marty

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

weekly report

well now i should keep reporting in ever week or so huh? yeah. okay. see? i'm smilin. my taste buds have advanced so much that a couple days ago i ate a lot all day, first time in over a month. good sign. still i think chicken soup is the only thing that really tastes (and really tastes good). (which is what i ate all day.) (one me and winifred concocted whuth lots a frozen vegetables thrown in including spinach (—really good, try it!)) an you cn see what my beard's doin. there's hope folks. and i am in good cheer and good company—with you. love and gratitude and holy days. marty
oh! in case you haven't noticed, the dumb camera i use here all through is like a mirror image—it is not like me lookin at you, it is like me lookin at me in thuh mirror = what's on what looks like the left of the me lookin out at you is really on my right in real life. so in this one, the beard's on my real left and the droopy eyelid is on my real right. goodness is this confusing to try to explain—now _i_ don't understand! love, though. marty

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

done, cooked, n cuperatin

dear fellow beings on earth.

i'm through all treatments and just now yesterday and today startin t feel thuh weeest bit like i'm beginnin ta heal and recuperate. my main complaints are deep constant fatigue (lifted for a moment this mornin when i woke up, for maybe the first time in 2 months or more), deep raw skin burns on neck and shoulder (right), taste buds completely shot (no thing tastes good. at least now all food is not repulsive, though), and continued nerve damage (from surgery) so the nerve to my trapezius muscle on my right back/shoulder is not firin. there's others. but it is possible and hopeful that each of these complaints will lift in their sweet time. my skin already feels better these past 2 days. i am definitely more upbeat now that i am not leading my body to further destruction each day. if you want to see photos of my skin i took today (too late for the worst—a few days ago), send me an e-request—i'm not puttin em in here.

i'm more able to keep in some kinds of touch. and i'm even doin business stuff like bills and EOB screening of health insurance, that i've been unable to face during radiation. things lookin up. i intend to stay in seattle a nother month, then go to warmer climate till May. we'll see. just workin on keepin healthy and upbeat. successful for thuh moment. whuth yer immense help!

that last pic's pretty accurate still. cept muh beard's comin in more on thuh left. sendin you my love n great gratitudes. marty

Sunday, December 6, 2009

radiation ends

i had my last treatment friday. my feeling sick from it all is spose to peak 7 days later. i'll write more after then, huh? sorry to be so bleak. i am probly what they would call well. and my spirit should be lifting immensely, as i am no longer bringing my body daily to the guillotine. i am surrounded by friends. you. love and patience. patient marty