Sunday, June 20, 2010

b-day boy

it's poppa's day an i say happy poppa's day to each a you an me too. yer all my dads an i'm yoursuns s'how i lookutit. hope you accepts.

i took a turn: i been depressed i see now in lookin back for about a week, n yesterday on muh way to thuh park t do exercises it popped, n i could see clearly: i ain't got no reason to feel bad. and every reason to feel good.

i been doin all these things i put off for the last year n a half, one of em bein joinin whole hog thuh Merkel cell person's Google group (anyone can read it, http://groups.google.com/group/merkelcell). whiew. n doin all these things at once has been too much (and too late, and too early, and too too). so i've quited down a bit a gain.

thursday's muh b-day, n a year ago it wasn't clear i'd make this one. from here, it looks pretty sure—an if i don't, at least i'll go out smilin—i know that for a fact.

probly cause a my pop (¶2 above) (and cause a my poppa(s)) i done wrote a pome this mornin, so here:



.........................................................sleep with books..........................................................

i have a plastic water bottle, once a beverage container, close to a liter beside the mat on the floor where i sleep, among the few strewn clothes and pants pocket contents i may use when i'm sleeping, hanky, watch with broken band.

down the hall by the livingroom with win's full bed and around the corner into the diningroom and there at the kitchen atop the microwave i have my other institution glass mug with glass handle always filled to some level with water to drink. mine, so we don't have to wash so much dishes.

filtered water, both places.

all this is book lined of course. including the bath room across from mine—its door won't close because of the bookshelf, floor to ceiling. i've never understood why those books don't rot from shower steam.

going back to bed after my every third hour pee, i make the journey all the way through this sometimes narrow, and hooked, path through books to thuh mug for a drink of water because the image i have in my head of me drinking out of the mug instead is so irresistibly inviting this dusky-eyed Sunday morning.

then i've got to flip thuh lap's top to key this and while i'm here e-joe to tell him i've found win's Saint Sea.

........To you Win
........Happy Fathers Day
........(our dads there celebrating, looking, comfy next to each other)
........That I lived to this day.
Love to each of you.

Marty, here 6/20/10

Friday, June 11, 2010

continued upbeat



hoi, dear being beings.

i had a wonder full visit with my brother tom and our family recluse-cottage, the roundhouse in the indiana dunes (and multitudinous other cousins!). and with my cousins in central illinois. visiting where i had stayed before and after surgery, and where i'd anticipated doing radiation but changed then to seattle, ... visiting my dear room and town and bicycle and cousin caregivers, from this vantage point of after it all, ... visiting how dearly i took care of my self, when my drainage tube was still stickin outa me, ... was full of very dear sweet emotion for me. seeing my brother is so rare and precious. yes that's him on the lefts. now you see how i got this way!

i'm back in seattle for a couple months now and perparing to do my taxes. then look for a home. researchin intentional communities (ic.org for a start).

feelin good. and connected. to you. thank you. marty