Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Merkel cell Support Group Sunday Jan 15, 2-4pm

Announcing: mcc support group in the Seattle area.

for any one touched by mcc, survivor or caregiver or family, any stage.

the first official Seattle Area mcc Support Group meeting. (so far as i know)

Sunday, January 15, 2pm-4pm.

At the meeting room in the Penthouse atop my building of residence, Council House, at 1501 17th Ave, Seattle WA 98122, on the corner with Pike Street, on Capitol Hill (a block south of Madison at that point), a half-block south of the 3 radio towers.

( mcc = Merkel cell carcinoma )

if you are interested in any way, please let me know by a comment here or by an e-mail to mar[underscore]tree[at]yahoo[dot]com

Sunday January 15 is also World Religion Day proclaimed by Bahá'ís, the day before Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, and the day after Makar Sankranti a Hindu celebration recognizing the increasing length of days and shortening of nights.

and blessings, today, of Kujichagulia. with deepest love for my Human Community. marty

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

to a happier turkey day for all!

can't resist postin this pome, the latest entry to my evergrowing volume of pomes peripheral to cancer, or rather now, cancer as Periphery to Poetry ... or is it just Periphetry?


. . . . Hard to settle down

en route to my marching,

first one since diagnosis,

of what? maybe a dozen

since birth? conceived the

day Dad got back from

the war, wearing "Power

to the Peaceful" in pink,

pinned to my coat.

. . . . Saying everything

I've ever had to say

in a nutshell that nobody

understands yet. "They don't

have any unified statement."

But they will.

. . . . Next week around

turkey it will settle in. That

we are the Indians. Before that

the protestants, thrown out. We

are the Negros. The Jews my

father fought to free. We are

the women through herstory. We

are gay marriage to Mexicans on

this side of the border. Illegal.

Now it is we.

. . . . What you mean we,

kemosabe? We are Tonto.

We are free.

© marty campbell mar_tree@yahoo.com

to a happier turkey day for us all.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

mcc bloggers' blog?

dear beings sharing earth with trees and stone, solid and liquid.
as of today, i have read at the blogs of fellow mcc diagnosees numbering 7 and probly some i am forgetting. each author yes, as yet alive. this is a lot to read. infinite blessing.
i am thinking there must needs to be a bloggers' blog for us. to me, so far, we are far more than compatible. i wish my reading speed had gotten beyond 4th grade. but nothing would be enough. this unattainable is just what i said, blessing. like kid in uh candy store. to be alone with no connections is the flip side, a place i've never been, fortunately.
there are two youngies out side my window, hair blowing just like the yellow and green leaved branches above them, overcast all day, likely 44º F as opposed to my brother Tom's 64º in Chicago "perfect for tennis". one holds a triangular headed guitar case with some weight in it. they have a discussion, then part. it is getting dark at 4:30. my screen, just below the window, is getting too bright.
love and gratitude, for people to key to, and for people to read the keys of. marty

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

stepping out of thuh beeg C?

dear fellow beings.
i'm opening to the wide world of what is life like without cancer. tentative as it all ways is anyway, huh? i've just finished my (extensioned) taxes for the second year since treatment, and am saddened and stunned to find it takes me nearly three times as long as it did before treatment (even after diagnosis). the most obvious conclusion for me is that my brain is working 3 times as slow, after head & neck surgery & radiation. but i'm hearting&thinking hard about surviving this okay. and treatment may not be the only factor. it is hard and distracting for me to live in a city and without all my belongings—still in storage since July 09 in Oakland CA, ironically the town of my birth. it is next on my list of adventures to relocate outside of city in a domicile large enuf to envelope my belongings from out of storage. and of course it would be nice if it was in a place where i will enjoy living ... maybe for a long time. whiew, to settle down?
we'll see how that materializes.
in the meantime, the somewhat annual mcc (my specific, rare, kind of cancer) gathering, hosted by a main research & clinical lab in the country focused on mcc, Dr. Paul Nghiem's lab here at UW/SCCA in Seattle, comes on tuesday, october twenty-five (if you wish to attend, i can invite you, let me know.). would i travel to it if it required more than a bicycle? it is hard for me to bring my self out of where i am right now to imagine. i am right in the hub for the moment, and am, in my way, taking advantage of it. by simple presence + enthusiasm. our numbers are increasing. there's an international google group of us. a number live in town, several of us know each other. i am going to propose a retreat and a local in-person support group, for people touched by mcc; and if there's significant co-enthusiasm, i'll put a lot into either or both of these for the next 6 months at least. if not, i'll send my self off into other things ... there are many rather equivalent pipe dreams of mine rustling at this time. i think the next couple weeks will tell a lot on this.
i'll also see a few doctors regarding some other not so worrisome side effects, mild double vision and mild irretrievable weight loss. and may participate in a research study on "memory or thinking problems after cancer treatment."
so everything may still seem all cancer focussed. but i am also going, with eyes & time, open: for a job, a new home, and many goals of old: writing, intentional community. and when i look back just a bit, a year, and two, i see and feel i have been doing just this all along, while also accomplishing what is absolutely necessary in my slowly returning stride.
with you by my side. grateful. marty

Saturday, September 24, 2011

thank you

it's almost a month now and i'm still well whelmed whuth presences! thank you each and every. 12 came in person. 10 of them also wrote something and left me a copy. then i think it's up to 40 now who were present in absentia by writing something and sending it to me. if you wrote something and haven't sent it yet, please do. what was written has melted me all over thuh floor. what i plan to do maybe in a month or so is assemble all the writing presences, and with the permission of each writer, maybe share it in two ways: 1. with other writer-presences, and 2. with anyone else interested. so if you've written something and i have it or will, please let me know if it is okay with you if i do #1 or #2 or both. it won't make you any more or less present with me, but i don't want to share them with others without your permission.

thank you for blessing me with your presents here on earth. i feel so wholly holy gifted. this is what i call life. drippilly grateful. marty

Sunday, August 21, 2011

dour demure anniversary. Fri., Aug. 26, 7-7, please come.

OK I'm going to do this. All are invited to my house for soup all day 7am-7pm Friday August 26. May be mandatory 5-minute writing exercise. No presents. Presence. Please.

—————————————————————^(click on pic to read T-shirt)

reason i'm dour, demure, late in getting this out, and haven't started making soup until today is i'd held, and i'm sure've announced in here, that if i made it 2 years without recurrence then i'd be less than 5% chance of recurrence thereafter, well, i was wrong: it's 20%, and that's a big difference to my little heart, very hard adjustment to make along with the fact that 2 fellow diagnosees i have met in person are experiencing recurrences. (most recurrences with this variety are untreatable and aggressive.) these past 2 weeks have been a deep spiritual reconciliation for me with life. with you and with me. i'm here, i'm okay now i think. but it's going to be a very different celebration than i had envisioned. low key and sweet. and yes. presence. a sacred form of life.
————————————> 1501 • 17th Av., #112, (@ Pike); Seattle WA 98122

you may be present in absentia as well. just write for 5 minutes anytime on Friday August 26 with the prompt: "What I am alive for this minute." of course if you have five minutes, you mite have 5 sections, one for each minute— ... in other words, anything goes, you may violate all instructions except "write". please send your thus written presences to me, if you will.

if you are unsure what we are celebrating with this presence, there are archived posts herein for August 25 and 26 2009 that could explain. last time cancer was seen in me.

i am happy to be alive and to share this life with you this moment. love. marty

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Sweet Home Seattle

Be it ever so humble. I'm home and grounding my self. Doctor's appointments galore, now that i've made my medicare decision. So complicated you could die of it. On to lookin for a job. Winifred and i are visitin good, glad to see each other. And working on writing, which is a beeg welcome change, for me. So i'm settlin down to life is life.
See muh little dreadlock in muh beard? It's momma (you can see in her glory in the pics to the right (double click and fill the screen)) fell off in my hand a few weeks before my diagnosis. End of 08. I was in Chicago. Walkin from visitin Merechi to visitin Colin & Petra who yesterday gave birth to a baby named Kuba. Everything is newborn.
Sendin all my love. Marty thuh Good Doog

Saturday, June 11, 2011

marty back to marty's mischief

dear fellow feisty humans.
i'm back to my energetic mischievous self, it looks like. just turned in my keys to thuh classroom and have completed my 35 day task of completing the year with 4 upperschool classes of Chem, Geom, & IPS (intro to physical science). have a ticket from here (STX) to San José CA on July 3 to hang/write with José Torres in Santa Cruz. then will fly (or hitchhike) home to SEA a roundabout July 10 or leaven.

i'm, at this moment, anyway, ver stoked. feelin alive like i thought i mite never feel again.

thank you for your gift of solid solidarity presence on this earth.

with love of sharin life with you. marty

what i wear snorklin in thuh daylite. photo credit: Jake Sheehan

Saturday, May 28, 2011

half a year! i must be doin great or else miserable!

dear blessed fellow beings.
i've been so lost. trying to muster up some evidence that i'm fully recouped. that last entry was my exhilaration that i had worked eight 12-hour days in a row helping move Win's partner Melody's belongings into storage, when she was forced into dependent living by a fall that affected her walking and her speech and maybe cognition. it was a sad and tense week (and since then, too), but for me it was also proof of the puddin: i could now get off my pitty pot about lingering fatigue!
since then it has been far more complicated, as the building i'd just moved my self into let it be known there were more than several apartments with bedbugs. don't google it if you don't have to. i find i am a prime candidate for delusionary parasitosis. talk about it and i itch. they are neigh impossible to live with and neigh impossible to get rid of. so i kinda freaked gradually like a underground volcano.
in the meantime i was looking for a job, consistently, 6 months, and for a nother place to live, as well as dutifully attending a cancer support group that was tough reality to be in a tight circle with, not to mention my friend winifred's equally deep mid-60's traumas and/or post-traumas recurring (i'm referring to my self here equally you must understand). i also was looking for a way to leave the cold wet city, particularly in March, which became April. this was a very very hard period for me, and i did not see any way out comin soon. several jobs came up that i would really like, and i dreamed of the steadiness they would offer me, but i was not chosen.
then i got e-wind of a sub-job openning at Good Hope Skool on Saint Croix, US Virgin Islands, my 24-year haunt and home of the 70's 80's and 90's. it happened very fast, but that's where i am. and i'm makin finals now, so i won't say much more till skool's out for the teachers, June 8. chemistry, geometry, and intro to physical science. i now have a job (2 more weeks, 35 work-days total.), a different place to live (with hair lice and mosquitoes instead of bedbugs), and i'm out of thuh cold wet city.
the biggest deal to me, is, as of yesterday (day 28), i believe i can say i can truly work full time without debilitating fatigue. this has been a test that i needed and wanted to know the answer to. i think i'm passin.
back to seattle around july 4-ish.
love to all my fellow survivor-students in this world wide school called life. marty

Monday, January 31, 2011

Morning of the Earth

to my so blessed heart this right here is THE MORNING of the EARTH. i have and today complete having most physically worked AND SUSTAINED a week, AkA seven or eight days, of quite literally 7 X 12 = 84 hours' ver hard labor. i will say both physical and mental and spiritual and emotional. successfully, clearly, and cleanly in my heart yes heart yes biggly friggin heart to Oh Wordless One.

violated societal liability and liability of the law of heart, laid risk flat and full knowing. in honor of what i know of love, was taught by imperfect parents and given. it is like deciding to go to jail instead of canada seven days in a row. passing on what is

i can give details later. but wanted to record this supine euphoria with which i wake. on/to this

Morning of the Earth

. you, thank you for being my seeming eternal sustainer. love. marty

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

hello, marty, happy new year, dude. dude. wake up!

oh my dear forgotten fellow beings.
i am going to quote an e-mail i just sent:
i am at the moment finding my post-treatment window waiting for potential cancer freedom to be as anxiety ridden and hectic, even daunting, as my diagnosis and treatment period. this i did not expect.
all this to say: my correspondence may be highly irregular, but it is not a reflection of how dearly i appreciate your writing and thought and heart nor a reflection of how precious it is to me to know you.
i believe i am just trying to go back into living life with all my heart. and if i were doing that i would be able to parcel some time to write to you ever couple weeks or so. and i don't seem to be pulling it off. writing you OR living life back there with all my heart. there is something very hard going on. maybe i am taking on too much. soon i will be in my own apartment, i am counting on that being a path to equilibrium. but my patience in getting there is growing so thin i am about played out.
same old tune. i'm still sayin that last pome, three months later.
i think it's time i said "harrass me, i'll respond." love. marty