Tuesday, January 11, 2011

hello, marty, happy new year, dude. dude. wake up!

oh my dear forgotten fellow beings.
i am going to quote an e-mail i just sent:
i am at the moment finding my post-treatment window waiting for potential cancer freedom to be as anxiety ridden and hectic, even daunting, as my diagnosis and treatment period. this i did not expect.
all this to say: my correspondence may be highly irregular, but it is not a reflection of how dearly i appreciate your writing and thought and heart nor a reflection of how precious it is to me to know you.
i believe i am just trying to go back into living life with all my heart. and if i were doing that i would be able to parcel some time to write to you ever couple weeks or so. and i don't seem to be pulling it off. writing you OR living life back there with all my heart. there is something very hard going on. maybe i am taking on too much. soon i will be in my own apartment, i am counting on that being a path to equilibrium. but my patience in getting there is growing so thin i am about played out.
same old tune. i'm still sayin that last pome, three months later.
i think it's time i said "harrass me, i'll respond." love. marty


  1. hey Marty - up middle of night,,,, bright gibbous moon, an illusion of promising fullness, actually waning;is it us?

    Been thinking of you, talking of you and suddenly a window opens up and there you are! New computer - can't remember how to work this blog, but just want to say to you, dear fellow - take heart!

  2. thank you cyn. this is a light in a rough week. i will certainly do just that: take heart! i saw that moon. guess we shared some light beams. my favorite shape of thuh guy. brings me back to when i slept under him in la la grange in thuh old days. i knew him so well then. nice place to return to. bless you. marty